Last Sunday I was both sad and happy; happy because vacation had started and sad because we had to say goodbye to friends for awhile. At least next semester I could go back to the seminary, but for some of my friends they have to wait until next year.
This was what happened. Every end of the school year, each seminarian will be evaluated according to how he performed in all the aspects of seminary formation- community, spiritual, pastoral, human and academics. Aside from that, one is also expected to follow all the rules of the seminary as contained in our monitum. We have to abide faithfully since we do not know who are designated by our formators to look over us on their behalf. And if ever the formators find us inadequate at the end of the school year then that could be the halt or even the end of your seminary life.
Last Sunday was judgment day. Every seminarian were so tensed and worried as the rector summoned some seminarians into the office. The common scenario is that if you were called, then you have the grim prospect of being sent out and for that I don’t want to hear my name. We were waiting there at the veranda adjacent to the office while at the same time praying to God to spare our names. No matter how sincere we were in our prayers, still there were some who were called. Thank God I wasn’t called but despite that I can sense the prevailing atmosphere at that time. Going into the rector’s office is like going to Hitler’s gas chambers. The only difference is that it was not a diabolic Hitler who will meet you there but a godly and fatherly rector who sympathizes with what you’re going through. But still, Hitler or not it’s your end.
Some of those who were called went out with a smiling face. They were warned instead of being sent out. They were given another semester to prove themselves. However, some went out more depressed than when they went in. They received the sad news from the rector. Some were given one year regency and others two. I too was sad for among them were those who were close to me. It’s very upsetting to watch them pack up their things but now with a much bigger container. They need to bring with them all of their belongings. Some were crying for deep inside they still wanted to stay. I understand what they felt for I too found a home in the seminary. Besides, my stay was shorter compared to them. I’ve only been here for around nine months while they have been here for two years and despite that short term I learned to love living here.
For now, I’ll continue doing my best while I am still given the chance to pursue it. There’s still a long way to go and I entrust all of them in God’s loving care.